Ok, I admit it

Sure, I watch American Idol. Gives me plenty to talk about at work. So, what's the thing I'm talking about the most? Is it the fact that one of the guys might have been a stripper? That one of the girls got a DUI? Or are we talking about who actually might be able to sing? Nope. We're all talking about Simon's latest penchant for impersonating Bullwinkle.



Am I wrong here? All he needs is to put up the other hand, and he'd be the spittin' image of our favorite moose!

WHAT IS YOUR NEW NAME???

Follow the instructions to find your new name. The following is from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants" by Dav Pilkey. In it, the evil Professor forces everyone to assume a new name.

Post your name in the comments - scroll down to see mine.

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a = poopsie
b = lumpy
c = buttercup
d = gidget
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = fluffy
h = cheeseball
i = chim-chim
j = stinky
k = flunky
l = boobie
m = pinky
n = zippy
o = goober
p = doofus
q = slimy
r = loopy
s = snotty
t = tulefel
u = dorkey
v = squeezit
w = oprah
x = skipper
y = dinky
z = zsa-zsa

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = apple
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = burger
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = bubble
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice

For example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts. I am Dorkey Gigglesquirt. Dick Cheney is Buttercup Wafflechunks. Jon Stewart is now Zippy Gerbilsquirt. I thought mine was bad! Sorry, Jon.

Ridiculous? Sure.

But - is it really that far-fetched? Ol' Steve sure has his hands in a lot of things!

Just So You're Aware

My turn signal is not a question. It's a statement.

Don't think that speeding up to cut me off will stop me from moving into that open space. You're not as crazazy as me.

Are these real?

I know the Camel ad is real, I've seen it before. A couple of these seem too weird to be true though...