Worst lyric in pop history
They have too many clicks - so here's the list:
The BBC 6 Music Taxing Lyrical Top 10
1. Des’ree - Life
I don't want to see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news
2. Snap - Rhythm Is A Dancer
I'm as serious as cancer
When I say rhythm is a dancer
3. Razorlight - Somewhere Else
And I met a girl
She asked me my name
I told her what it was
4. ABC - That Was Then But This Is Now
More sacrifices than an Aztec priest
Standing here straining at that leash
All fall down
Can't complain, mustn't grumble
Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble
5. U2 - Elevation
I've got no self control
Been living like a mole now
Going down, excavation
High and high in the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation
6. Toto - Africa
The wild dogs cry out in the night
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company
I know that I must do what's right
Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti
7. Oasis - Champagne Supernova
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you when we were getting high?
8. Duran Duran - Is There Something I Should Know?
And fiery demons all dance when you walk through that door
Don't say you're easy on me you're about as easy as a nuclear war
9. Human League - The Lebanon
Before he leaves the camp he stops
He scans the world outside
And where there used to be some shops
Is where the snipers sometimes hide
10. Black Sabbath - War Pigs
Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses
I can think of a few that ought to be here...
White Stripes: Hardest Button to Button
I had a brain
That felt like pancake batter
I got a backyard
With nothing in it
Except a stick
A dog
And a box with something in it
The hardest button to button(x7)
*background: The hardest button to button (x3)
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Scar Tissue
Push me up against the wall
Young Kentucky girl in a push-up bra
Fallin’ all over myself
To lick your heart and taste your health ’cause
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view...
I especially like the way they rhyme Wall and Bra.
What's your favorite terrible lyric?
They have too many clicks - so here's the list:
The BBC 6 Music Taxing Lyrical Top 10
1. Des’ree - Life
I don't want to see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news
2. Snap - Rhythm Is A Dancer
I'm as serious as cancer
When I say rhythm is a dancer
3. Razorlight - Somewhere Else
And I met a girl
She asked me my name
I told her what it was
4. ABC - That Was Then But This Is Now
More sacrifices than an Aztec priest
Standing here straining at that leash
All fall down
Can't complain, mustn't grumble
Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble
5. U2 - Elevation
I've got no self control
Been living like a mole now
Going down, excavation
High and high in the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation
6. Toto - Africa
The wild dogs cry out in the night
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company
I know that I must do what's right
Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti
7. Oasis - Champagne Supernova
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you when we were getting high?
8. Duran Duran - Is There Something I Should Know?
And fiery demons all dance when you walk through that door
Don't say you're easy on me you're about as easy as a nuclear war
9. Human League - The Lebanon
Before he leaves the camp he stops
He scans the world outside
And where there used to be some shops
Is where the snipers sometimes hide
10. Black Sabbath - War Pigs
Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses
I can think of a few that ought to be here...
White Stripes: Hardest Button to Button
I had a brain
That felt like pancake batter
I got a backyard
With nothing in it
Except a stick
A dog
And a box with something in it
The hardest button to button(x7)
*background: The hardest button to button (x3)
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Scar Tissue
Push me up against the wall
Young Kentucky girl in a push-up bra
Fallin’ all over myself
To lick your heart and taste your health ’cause
With the birds I’ll share
This lonely view...
I especially like the way they rhyme Wall and Bra.
What's your favorite terrible lyric?
posted by Lou Schwing at 2:19 PM
6 Comments:
Hmmm ... so many contendahs, so little time!
My first thought was "Inna Gadda Da Vida," by that late 1960's favorite, Iron Butterfly:
Inna gadda da vida, baby
Don'tcha know that I luuvv you-u-u;
Inna gadda da vida, hon-ee
Don'tcha know that I'll *always* be tru-u-ue?
However, that old warhorse seems to pale in comparison to the subtle, yet lyrical profundity of the following little ditty, which certainly should make anyone's Top Ten:
"Willie the Pimp," written and performed by Frank Zappa (with vocal by the redoubtable Captain Beefheart), from the 1969 album "Hot Rats:"
I'm a little pimp with my hair gassed back;
Pair a khaki pants with my shoe shined black.
Got a little lady, walk the street;
Tellin' all the boys that she cain't be beat.
Twenny dollah bill, I can set you straight;
Meet me onna corner boy'n don't be late.
Man inna suit with a bow-tie neck;
Wanna buy a grunt with a third-party check.
Standin' onna porch of the Lido Hotel;
Floozies in the lobby love the way I sell:
HOT MEAT
HOT RATS
HOT CATS
HOT RITZ
HOT ROOTS
HOT SOOTS
HOT MEAT
HOT RATS
HOT CATS
HOT ZITZ
HOT ROOTS
HOT SOOTS
Mercifully, that's it for the lyrics; the rest of the song is instrumental, with some pretty impressive lead guitar work from Frank!
Well, Zappa was an odd duck in a lot of ways and I suspect he wouldn't have argued that some of his lyrics were DUMM. Or even Rdundnt.
There are sooo many bad lyrics out there. I think that to make a true top ten bad lyrics list, we should aim for a bad line or two that utterly ruins an otherwise brilliant song. Otherwise I'd just list all the sappy love lyrics that I could think of.
If I liked Black Sabbath better I would consider those lines from "War Pigs" to be an example of this ruining-a-good-song I'm talking about.
Some examples, though I don't know (not having had time to think it through) that they'd make my final list:
Queen, "I'm In Love With My Car," has the wretched rhyme
Told my girl I'd have to forget her
I'd rather buy me a new carburettor
Pete Townshend's song "Slit Skirts" is one of my favorite lyrics of all time, with lines like "The incense burned away/and the stench began to rise/and lovers, now estranged,/avoided catching each others' eyes." But then the second verse is marred with: "Once she woke with untamed lover's/face between her legs/now his fires are stifled/and it's she who has to beg." I mean, ick.
Or 10CC, "Rubber Bullets." Y'all may or may not remember this 1974ish hit about a riot in a prison. It's a witty, cynical song, then it hits a middle-eight that's like hitting a brick wall: "Blood will flow/dear Padre/Padre you talk to your boys/Trust in me/God will come to set you free." -- and all the wit drains right out of it.
One thing that happens a lot is that a song is going along just fine, making its point nicely, then the lyricist decides to drive his message home with a jackhammer. I don't mean a song like Suzanne Vega's "Luka," which totally sells its birthright for a pot of message; nor something like "Billy Don't Be A Hero," which is so egregiously bad in so many ways that it doesn't matter that the message is both overwhelming and trite. I mean something like ... well, shoot, now I can't think of an example, but you know what I'm talking about: the kind of song that tells a nifty little story, then the lyricist just has to draw the moral of the story explicitly. Blah.
Yep, I'll certainly stipulate that when Zappa wrote bad lyrics, it was because he *intended* to write bad lyrics - not because he couldn't tell the difference between good and bad.
Another possible criterion is to distinguish between people like Frank, and lyricists who think that they are writing Something Utterly Profound, when in reality they are just writing bad lyrics.
I'll have to give this latter catergory some additional thought ...
Okay, as promised (threatened?), I've thought more about the criterion expressed in my second paragraph above, and there's little doubt in my mind that the dubious crown here rightly belongs to the late Jim Morrison of the Doors. As a poet, Jim was a very gifted singer ... !
Don't get me wrong; I liked the Doors, and enjoyed most of their works. I even liked "Soft Parade" - and that one had some pretty bad lyrics, despite being an unusual and highly innovative piece in the context of its time.
However, IMO very few works can ever top "The End" for blatantly awful and highly disconnected lyrics, attempting to pass itself off as Something Utterly Profound:
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/doors/the+end_20042686.html
Dissenting opinions are, of course, welcome ...
Oh, well, if you want to get into that kind of thing there's huge amounts of it in the "progressive rock" world, beginning with pretty much the entire lyrical universe of Yes...
"In and around the lake,
mountains come out of the sky
and they stand there"
or
"A seasoned witch could call you
from the depths of your disgrace
and rearrange your liver
to the solid mental place"
(Just how *DO* you season a witch,
anyway?)
With "parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme," naturally! Donovan probably would concur here, as well ...
It's funny, isn't it - you read the words, and think WTF? But then you hear Jon Anderson sing them in the context of the music, and it becomes something else entirely.
The same is true of the Doors, of course, but I just really can't stomach "The End" ...
By the way, I didn't include Jethro Tull's "Thick as a Brick" here, since Ian Anderson was being very much like Frank Zappa in this instance. Of course, both were predated by "I Am the Walrus," composed and performed by - well, you know ...
Post a Comment
<< Home